Late night confession, maybe

Have you ever did something that you regret? 


Sometimes our mistakes are important cause they can teach us to be a better person and to remind us not to do the same mistake again. 


Sometimes those mistakes make us afraid. Afraid that it will happen again or getting worse. 


Sometimes when you mistakenly hurt someone, you wish that you could turn back time and fix the mess that you've made. And it makes you feel afraid too. Afraid that you may repeat the same mistake and hurt the same person with the same mistake again. 


Maybe, just maybe you shouldn't came out with anything that related to the things that can hurt that person. Maybe you  should remain silent. Maybe you shouldn't give anything that you thought might please that person when actually it doesn't. It hurts you actually when you have to hold yourself from doing something you like until you feel like you've become someone else . 


Well maybe, it worth the pain. 

Sacrifices

There are things that we need to sacrifice. There will be one time when you have to sacrifice something whether you are willing to or not. Normally, people are not willing to make sacrifices. That is why it calls sacrifice; pengorbanan. But sometimes we need let go those things that we sacrifice for. It's something that we need to learn; learn to let go.


There are certain situations where we need to sacrifice something that we love. Something that is important. As for me, I need to sacrifice my passion. Passion towards dancing. I've been dancing since I was in kindergarten. Then in primary and secondary school I join dancing club and get involved in competition and dancing show. But when I grow older, I need to sacrifice that passion for my own good. Why? Well it is not very good to dance infront of other men, obviously. And tbh, at first I am not willing at all. I love to dance, I love dancing and it gives me sactifaction when I get to perform my dancing infront of the others. But as time flies, I manage to convince myself that it is for my own good.


Besides, even if I cannot dance infront of other men, it's not like I have to stop dancing at all.  I'm not having permanent injuries that makes me to stop from dancing. Nauzubillah. I can dance when I'm alone, or to give a sactifaction for myself, I can perform during dancing show when there are only girls that are watching.

Well same goes to those who have passion in something that is forbidden to do at certain situations such as singing. You can still sing but as a woman, we have to cover our aurah, not to show to ajnabi but you can still sing whenever you want as long as you are alone or infornt of yout girl-friends or family members only. 


When you sacrifice something that is a good thing to be sacrifice for, something that gives you more prosequences and benefits rather than consequences, then you will be rewards something bigger that what you've been sacrifice for. It makes your sacrifice, worth it.  InsyaAllah

Butterfly

Being a sensitive person is not an easy task. Maybe some of the people out there thought that a sensitive person is good because they have a very soft heart. But behind a soft hearted, sensitive person, he/she is actually struggling with every small problem that become big because they are very sensitive. Their feelings will get hurt easily  and when people around them are saying something about their weaknesses, directly or indirectly, that will affect their mood and they will start thinking that they have many flaws and they are not good enough for anyone that loves them. Things will become hard for them because those flaws will haunt them for entire life. Past mistakes can become their nightmares for every single night. 

The reason why I love butterfly? Well because the point about butterfly is so accurate when it is applied to the human being. We have the same characteristic with butterfly which is we are not being confident with all the abilities that we have. That's why we always feel insecure and saying other people are flawless while they are not. Nobody is perfect and nobody is flawless. When other people see the bright side of ours, we deny them. 

Well up till now, I'm not very confident about myself especially when it comes to the people that I love. I never feel that I am good enough for them. I always feel that they need more, they want more and they deserve someone that is better than me. 


What ever it is, I'm really grateful to have amazing people in my life. My family that cannot be replaced, my bestfriends that shine my day and amazing person with the capital N. They give me hopes and they give me reason why I have to fight for what I always wanted. They make me feel happy and they always ensure me that I am more that what I am thinking about myself. Alhamdulillah 

Are you a good or bad listener?

Assalamualaikum,

Something just pop out from my head. Am I a good listener? My sister told me I am a good listener. But am I good enough? Maybe you should start questioning yourself.

Being a good listener is not only about listen to someone's story. It's about giving a very good attention and a good respond. Yeah memang kadang kadang penat nak dengar cerita orang. Lagi lagi kalau yang pasal memuji diri sendiri, atau benda yang tak elok dorang buat or cerita yang panjang berjela yang rasanya takkan habis habis. Tapi, just imagine yourself, telling story or problems to other person and she/he buat muka, dengar macam nak taknak. Lagi menyirap if dia start cakap dengan orang lain time kita tengah bercerita. Sakit hati kan? So actually being a good listener is important cause you will also need a good listener to your story or problem.

Macam mana nak jadi a good listener? Well for my opinion

Okay tetiba pulak nak masukkan unsur sweet xD

First, of course lah eye contact. Eye contact is important. Give 120% of attention to the person infront of you yang tengah cerita. Kalau contoh lah kita tengah buat kerja. Lagi lagi kerja rumah yang kena buat cepat sebab takut mak balik then nanti kena marah sebab tak buat kerja rumah kan. Okay, my way lah kan, cakap dengan orang tu. Contoh yang biasa is to my sister "Kak, cerita je tau. Lia dengar." So macam sejuk sikit lah hati orang yang tengah bercerita tu. Maksudnya ada lah excuse why kita tak pandang dia tapi still kita dengar apa yang dia tengah cerita. Tapi that's not an excuse for those yang memang taknak dengar. It's kindda jahat if you give excuse saying that you're still listening to their stories while actually you are not. So listening to people story dengan cara khusyuk still boleh buat and in the meantime you still boleh buat kerja you. Kill two birds with one stone bak kata omputih.

Second, give good respond. Even cara kita bergerak or pandang dia pun actually a respond towards the story tau. Well contohnya time orang tu tengah bercerita, kita dok pandang tempat lain. Or usha usha jam. Tu maknanya kita bosan dengar cerita orang tu and fikir "Haih bila lah nak habis cerita dia ni." Bila dah buat macam ni, means you are not a good listener. Kita kena tunjuk yang kita focus and berminat nak dengar cerita dia. Another respond is by talking. A few responds are by mengiyakan cerita dia or bagi opinion. Tapi bagi respond pun kena ada pantang larang which is bring to the third way;

Jangan tunjuk yang kita disagree dengan cerita or opinion orang tu. Disagree boleh but jangan terlalu banyak. Macam contoh orang tu cerita pasal problem tempat kerja dia and dia tak puas hati dengan cara sorang mamat or minah kat tempat kerja dia. Dia pun cakaplah apa yang dia rasa semua. Then tetiba dalam otak kita dok cakap "Apa lah pelik sangat mamat/minah ni punya pemikiran. Apa yang dia rasa lagilah salah." And kita pun sebagai a good listener, naklah bagi respond and bangkang apa yang dia rasa, NO tak boleh. Kalau nak bagi opinion kita, jangan bangkang yang macam sekeras kerasnya tak setuju sebab nanti lagi mengundang kemarahan dia or buat dia sakit hati sebab terguris hati dia ke. If kita nak bagitahu yang kita tak setuju dengan pemikiran dia, kita kena cakap dengan cara yang hanya nak bagi cadangan, Bukan bangkang. If orang yang cerita tu jenis ego and taknak dengar langsung cadangan kita, rasa macam dia memang betul. Takpe, let him/her be. Kita sambung je dengar cerita dia and diam je. That is the best way rather than bangkang and end up jadi gaduh. 

But kalau dengar je and tak bagi respond tu bukan lah good listener kan? Well memang nak jadi a good listener kena bagi respond jugak tapi kalau kita bagi respond then end up dua dua sakit hati apa gunanya kan? Takpe, after kita dah bagi idea then orang tu taknak terima, kita diamkan je. Maybe nanti orang tu akan tetiba terfikir and macam "Betul jugak apa yang dia cakap hari tu, Aku tak boleh jugak buat macam tu, ini." Maybe orang tu takkan terima idea kita hari ni tapi one day dia akan terima jugak. Sebab  maybe time orang tu tengah cerita, dia tengah marah sebab cerita balik apa yang dia tak puas hati so dia tak boleh terima idea orang lain time tu. Yelah, time marah, syaitan ada and hasut supaya jadi lagi marah. So fikiran tak rasional. Tu yang jadi ego sampai taknak terima pandangan orang lain. So, let's play it by ear and barulah boleh respond yang sepatutnya.


Jangan potong cerita and dengar sampai habis. Contoh kita dengar je orang tu tengah cerita pasal dia terjauh dalam longkang then kita pulak excited nak cerita kita jatuh longkang yang lagi dalam ke bla bla bla. Bila kita potong cerita orang, nanti orang tu rasa sakit hati and macam frust lah sebab kita macam taknak dengar cerita dia. So, eager macam mana pun rasa nak cerita pasal cerita 'menarik' kita ni, sabar dulu. ((Sabar pun separuh dari iman kan? Hehe)) Biar orang yang tengah cerita tu habiskan cerita dia. Kalau ada benda yang potong cerita orang tu, macam tetiba ada lipas lalu bawah kaki ke, or anything yang buat kan cerita dia tergendala, suruh dia sambung balik cerita dia. Orang tu akan rasa terharu + appreciate sebab kita memang betul betul dengar cerita dia. Buat someone rasa happy and bahagia pun satu pahala kan ;)

Okay so here are my opinions of becoming a good listener. Up until now, me, myself is trying to improve the way I listen or hear other's story or opinion. Well manusia tak perfect kan. Kadang kadang bila tengah bad mood ke, then ada orang cerita problem dia, kita pun tak sengaja ter-reply or tak dengar cerita dia dengan sepatutnya. So marilah sama sama meng-improvekan diri untuk menjadi a good listener :>

I'm a Diploma in Actuarial Science's student

Assalamualaikum

Mr. N reminds me about my blog. Well why tetiba bangkit cerita blog pulak lah kan? Well he asked me to tell him somethings then I end up write a full karangan for him. Sekali dengan emoticon bagai. Lengkap haha. Well when it comes to write something or when I express my feelings, I love to write a passage. A full one.

Ceehh nak jugak posing dengan baju Actuary xD

Okay so let's talk about University life. I always thought that University life would be fun and more relaxing than secondary school. Yelah best kot takyah pakai school uniform everyday, bangun awal everyday. Time rehat pergi makan. Petang balik rumah, buat homework, belajar ((kalau rajin)) then tidur. Weekends cuti. Kadang kadang kena lah sekolah time hari sabtu if kena gantikkan cuti. Then mula lah membebel sebab dapat cuti sekejap bla bla bla. Well University life memang best pun. Jadual belajar tak packed, banyak tidur, main. Banyak gila lah masa lapang. Baju boleh pakai suka hati, Kadang kadang jelah jadi konflik tak tahu nak pakai baju apa and baju yang kita nak pakai tengah basuh. Yelah sidai kat luar susah nak kering. Lagi lagi kalau baju orang atas menitik nitik kena baju kita, Opss haha, But then masa belajar sangat sekejap. Nak digest every subject and jadi master macam susah. Yeah susah if kita relax. That's what I did in this semester. 4 bulan je kot nak khatam everything. Hello time sekolah dulu senang lah jugak cause ada 10/11 months to study. Ni 4 bulan je. MasyaAllah pengsan.



Now, I'm on my examination week. 3 papers dah lepas. 3 more. The previous papers? Hancurzzz. Menyesal tak belajar awal awal. Menyesal sebab take things for granted. But menyesal apa gunanya kan? Terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak masa, tak boleh undur undur dah. Orang selalu cakap Sem 1 senang nak score. Haih dengan perangai macam ni memang macam susah je nak score. My sister keeps on reminding me actually. She said "Quiz ke test ke even percent sikit tapi membantu." At that moment rasa macam pandai sangat, Rasa macam belum terlambat. Rasa macam boleh score untuk next quiz/test. Tapi bila carrymarks keluar. Terbeliak biji mata. Kira kira susah weh nak dapat A. A- pun susah. Target lulus jelah dapat. Menyesal tak sudah sebenarnya.

Tak packed pun sebenarnya, Boleh je belajar sebenarnya..

Well, janganlah take things for granted. Niat nak masuk U, belajar, kerja elok elok. Banggakan parents. Tapi kalau kerja asyik buat perangai je. Macam mana nak banggakan? 
Buat dorang frust adalah. Jadilah anak yang menurut perintah and banggakan mereka selagi mampu. Dah banyak benda parents kita dah buat. Susah payah selama ni cari duit, hantar sekolah dari kecik sampai besar panjang. Even penat kerja, tapi still sanggup sebab tahu ada tanggungjawab yang kena pikul which is anak anak. Put our parents first. Make them happy, Paling senang nak buat actually dengar cakap dorang and succeed in life. Awal awal ni kena lah succeed in education kan. Memang lah cakap pandai, senang tapi tak buat pun, Yeah, actually I'm telling this for myself aslo. Alang alang ingatkan orang, kita ingat diri sediri.