Late night confession, maybe

Have you ever did something that you regret? 


Sometimes our mistakes are important cause they can teach us to be a better person and to remind us not to do the same mistake again. 


Sometimes those mistakes make us afraid. Afraid that it will happen again or getting worse. 


Sometimes when you mistakenly hurt someone, you wish that you could turn back time and fix the mess that you've made. And it makes you feel afraid too. Afraid that you may repeat the same mistake and hurt the same person with the same mistake again. 


Maybe, just maybe you shouldn't came out with anything that related to the things that can hurt that person. Maybe you  should remain silent. Maybe you shouldn't give anything that you thought might please that person when actually it doesn't. It hurts you actually when you have to hold yourself from doing something you like until you feel like you've become someone else . 


Well maybe, it worth the pain. 

Sacrifices

There are things that we need to sacrifice. There will be one time when you have to sacrifice something whether you are willing to or not. Normally, people are not willing to make sacrifices. That is why it calls sacrifice; pengorbanan. But sometimes we need let go those things that we sacrifice for. It's something that we need to learn; learn to let go.


There are certain situations where we need to sacrifice something that we love. Something that is important. As for me, I need to sacrifice my passion. Passion towards dancing. I've been dancing since I was in kindergarten. Then in primary and secondary school I join dancing club and get involved in competition and dancing show. But when I grow older, I need to sacrifice that passion for my own good. Why? Well it is not very good to dance infront of other men, obviously. And tbh, at first I am not willing at all. I love to dance, I love dancing and it gives me sactifaction when I get to perform my dancing infront of the others. But as time flies, I manage to convince myself that it is for my own good.


Besides, even if I cannot dance infront of other men, it's not like I have to stop dancing at all.  I'm not having permanent injuries that makes me to stop from dancing. Nauzubillah. I can dance when I'm alone, or to give a sactifaction for myself, I can perform during dancing show when there are only girls that are watching.

Well same goes to those who have passion in something that is forbidden to do at certain situations such as singing. You can still sing but as a woman, we have to cover our aurah, not to show to ajnabi but you can still sing whenever you want as long as you are alone or infornt of yout girl-friends or family members only. 


When you sacrifice something that is a good thing to be sacrifice for, something that gives you more prosequences and benefits rather than consequences, then you will be rewards something bigger that what you've been sacrifice for. It makes your sacrifice, worth it.  InsyaAllah

Butterfly

Being a sensitive person is not an easy task. Maybe some of the people out there thought that a sensitive person is good because they have a very soft heart. But behind a soft hearted, sensitive person, he/she is actually struggling with every small problem that become big because they are very sensitive. Their feelings will get hurt easily  and when people around them are saying something about their weaknesses, directly or indirectly, that will affect their mood and they will start thinking that they have many flaws and they are not good enough for anyone that loves them. Things will become hard for them because those flaws will haunt them for entire life. Past mistakes can become their nightmares for every single night. 

The reason why I love butterfly? Well because the point about butterfly is so accurate when it is applied to the human being. We have the same characteristic with butterfly which is we are not being confident with all the abilities that we have. That's why we always feel insecure and saying other people are flawless while they are not. Nobody is perfect and nobody is flawless. When other people see the bright side of ours, we deny them. 

Well up till now, I'm not very confident about myself especially when it comes to the people that I love. I never feel that I am good enough for them. I always feel that they need more, they want more and they deserve someone that is better than me. 


What ever it is, I'm really grateful to have amazing people in my life. My family that cannot be replaced, my bestfriends that shine my day and amazing person with the capital N. They give me hopes and they give me reason why I have to fight for what I always wanted. They make me feel happy and they always ensure me that I am more that what I am thinking about myself. Alhamdulillah